Today was a strange one. I thrust myself into a room of people that, once upon a time, I looked up to. In a way someone would admire a hero or a fatherly figure. I sat around a kitchen table stuffing my face with foods that I don't even know the names of as I babbled about my experiences outside of a place that these people never left.
When I was at this place with them, working, they always told me that I needed to get my head out of the clouds and find new experiences. Here, I had. I kind of felt accomplished.. and hell, I've hardly started.
Part of me feels ashamed that I'm stepping out of the kitchen for good. I wonder if that makes me a failure because I couldn't hack it. But.. I don't think I would have changed anything, looking back.
Later on, I flaked out on someone I said I was going to RP with so that I could continue spending time with my friends. I went to Ashley's house and met her pet chickens. I was extremely envious. I've always wanted pet chickens. I picked them up, and played with them... and even found an egg!
It was a nice day.
5 days until I'm 28. I think I finally know how it feels to dread getting older.. but I could just be making a big deal out of nothing. It's not that I've lost my youth.. but I think I just see the time I have left to enjoy it.. slipping away. Thankfully, I don't plan on having kids, so maybe I can make the most out of 'adulthood' when I think I've finally reached it..
It's raining outside. It's been raining all day. The sound kind of makes me sleepy. There's a man in bed pissed at me beause I'm not in there with him.. but I couldn't really bring myself to sleep just yet. But, now that I've rambled on to the endless, quiet space of the internets.. I feel I may be ready, now.
Good night, world.
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