So, I had my last Japanese class of the semester yesterday and I'll have the last Graphics class tonight. Then next week is finals. I woke up with the overwhelming sense of anxiety and nausea. It was like a small war to choke it back. I sat down at my desk and looked across it for some sign of my homework like I normally do and when I didn't see any, I was at a loss. It didn't occur to me for some time that I hadn't actually been assigned any homework because the next time we meet, it'll be for the final.
I can't keep being like this at the ends of semesters. I don't sleep well and all I do is worry my little head off about whether or not I've done enough. There's a sort of cold and unacceptable lack of control I feel right at the end of semesters and once I'm done with school, I think I'll be able to get past the idea that I'm ever under scrutiny. That the syllabus defines my worth and my work ethic.
In other news, I've decided to try to do the National Novel Writing Month Challenge for myself. Normally, this happens in November but I'll do it in January. We'll see what I can get out of it. To define: The NaNoWriMo Challenge is to write a 50,000 word novel within a month. This is supposed to be a slap in the face to authors who take a decade to put out a novel of the same length but I'm kinda thinking that it'll be a good mental exercise. I'll roleplay some and get some inspiration and then knock out 3k words or something. I've written more than 3k on the spur of the moment before and I do heavily believe that I can do it again. Once I'm done, maybe I'll get it bound and give it to a few people. Publishing will be right out as I'm confident that it would be rejected all over the place.
After next week, I have three weeks of vacation. From everything. I can get myself back in shape for authorization in the Spring, do some writing, play some WoW. Maybe even get the house in a clean and decent order. Three weeks is a long time and there's a lot I can do with it. Like promise to get up at 8am every day. Even Saturdays.
I'd like that.
1 comment:
That whole November writing thing always concerned me. I've never known a person who can push themselves to be inspired when they're under that sort of stress. Usually, the people I know who participate in that project end up getting pissed off because they can't manage to find the time to write all the time.
If you're that gung-ho about getting your write on, however.. I wish ya the best of luck, and hope to read it when yer done. :D
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