Breaking the rule the first time around.

I have to write, because it's how I straighten my thoughts.

Bad Resonance:

I surround myself with people. People I care for. People I love. I guard them like a mother Goose does her eggs; attempting in vain to protect them from the great big bad world. One by one they crack. Little marks. Big marks. Dents, or complete destruction.. and I sit there and watch. Like a sponge I suck up all of this horrible angst and melancholy that leaks out because in the end, I hope to somehow filter it all into something that is bright and cheerful.

Bad Relationships:

Megan's been having a hard time with Justin. She broke it off with him because he can't get his shit straight enough with his daughter to move over to the Island to be with her. His attempts are constantly thwarted by his Ex and her childish acts against him. Poor Alissa has become a weapon of choice against her own Father.

I woke up this morning from a vicious nightmare that I'd caught my husband cheating on me, and I left him. It shook me to the point where I called him at work so he could make me feel better.

Not hours later, a girlfriend of mine contacted me out of desperation to get away from her ex boyfriend. Stating that he was making her crazy and she didn't know how long she would last. She needed money to move to another State completely with her Son.

Just now, the closest thing I have to a 'good friend' in person just phoned me to tell me how her Boyfriend (Now ex) threw her out of a moving car last night. She's bruised, broken, and mentally shattered. I'm so thankful that she has family to take her in, and a place to go. Not that I wouldn't offer my own hospitality, but I fear I wouldn't be what she needs, right now.

Compared to the others around me, my problems are nothing. Like a shadow cast by a tree, really. Something in my gut makes me wonder if my dream was only a reaction to the resonance that's been leaking off of those I care for.

Maybe it's just my place in this world to be something stable for others to lean on. More and more, I'm finding that it's what other people need.